Friday July 22, 2010

I know, I know its been forever since I was here blogging. But to be honest, I have just had way too much going on.

Bob (husband) was admitted to the hospital last Friday, a week ago, I brought him home this past Tuesday. I was at the hospital 24/7, and coming home around 3-4 a.m. to get a shower. My eating was so off track and the scale is showing just how bad I was. So having to really work hard at doing what I know needs to be done. As of yesterday I got myself back to the gym for the first time since mid April. I did do 30 minutes on the elliptical, thought I might die, but I did not, so that was good.

Something I have finally come to terms with, and I know the family here is not going to be all that happy about it, but you know they can just rub their unhappy spot and deal with it just as I have had to deal with things these past 12 years.

The thing I have come to terms with is, I cannot do it all, nor do I want to do it all anymore. I need time for me just as everyone else needs time for themselves. I have cheated myself and you know what, ''no one cares", no one ever asks, ''Joan, do you need a break, do you need sometime away?" Why do they not ask this? Because they know what a hard job it is taking care of Bob and they can't even scratch the surface of what I do, but God forbid they offer any assistance at all. But, they all need their time away. So I am taking a stand and that is to take care of me for a change.