May 27, 2010....Thursday

Remember me?? I am the person that is suppose to be writing this blog. Well, the past few days/weeks just have not been the best, so I shall give you my tale of woe.

I have had some problems, mainly pain ever since my last hip replacement back in Feb. but its not been in the hip I had replaced, its been in my right knee area and I had that knee replaced two years ago this September, and pain in my left hip which was replaced two years ago this past April. So this week alone I have had a bone scan which showed no bone problems, and that is good, but I have also been having my feet hurting like mad, and the scanned my feet as well to find I have Arthritis in my feet, and really nothing can be done about that. Yesterday I had an MRI done on my lower back to see if maybe I have a pinched nerve. So with all this going on I have to confess my eating has not been the best in the world, in other words, I have been having my own little pity party, and no I have not invited anyone else to join in with me.

I am very tired, I am a full time caregiver for my husband, who even though I do love him very much, there are times I would really just love to walk away. No one steps up to say, ''hey, would you like a day off?" OH sure there are people here that could do that, in fact dear husband should himself be stepping up to the plate telling sons, ''the woman needs a break, and badly." However, the man does not want to deprive himself of the excellent care I give him for the hit and miss care he gets when I am not around.

I know I am not the only person that is a caregiver and I also know I am not the only person that feels this way, but good Lord, are highly educated people really so stupid that they cannot see when someone needs a break. I find it very odd that they can see the need somewhere else, but they sure as hell cannot see it right here under their noses. Makes me wonder when it is done for others if its just for show, and to make themselves feel good that they are doing something even if its not helping me out.

I have to admit, I have wondered how much longer I am going to be able to do this.

I know not a very uplifting blog today, but hell, this is just how I am feeling this morning, tired, trapped and seeing now way out.